So you got your heartbroken, and now you’re looking at articles on how to get over a breakup.
Good for you.
Because that shit hurts a ton.
Over the course of my life, I’ve had to experience, not one, not two but more than four heartbreaks.
And each time a relationship ended, I would binge-read articles on how to make my ex regret breaking up with me.
Don’t lie, you did it too.
As comforting as that used to be, it never truly allowed me to recover from the breakup.
Hence why I’m here to properly teach you how to get over a breakup. Based on what eventually helped me so far.
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WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN TRYING TO GET OVER A BREAKUP
Before I get into the tips, I want to warn you of a couple of things you shouldn’t be doing to get over your breakup.
Because the truth is, breakups can cause a person to make drastic decisions, like shaving their hair off or getting into a series of rebound sex.
Therefore, it’s important I address this now so you don’t find yourself in a similar situation.
Here are four things you should NOT do when trying to get over a breakup:
- Get into a rebound relationship
- Change your identity to prove a point
- Trash talk your ex
- Beg them to take you back
Let’s discuss why.
#1 GET INTO A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP
I know Hollywood has brainwashed you to believe that the best way to recover is to get into another man’s sheets.
But I’m here to correct that thinking.
Because rebounds can screw you up way more than it can heal you.
Hence why it’s important you don’t engage in it.
You might subconsciously believe that jumping into a new relationship will help you recover.
However, in the long run, you would only realize that you ended up playing yourself.
Save yourself the future stress and just remain single.
#2 CHANGE YOUR IDENTITY TO PROVE A POINT
Because your ex likes women who have fat asses and look like Kim Kardashian doesn’t mean you suddenly have to change your appearance.
Be true to yourself and accept your flaws.
A breakup shouldn’t be the reason you decided to change your identity.
There are way more people out there who would love you for who you are.
#3 TRASH TALK YOUR EX
I understand… you’re hurt.
And shit-talking them to your best friend feels like a good relief. I myself have done it a couple of times.
But if we’re being honest. Shit talking them only makes you look more miserable.
It doesn’t change the status of your relationship. And it also doesn’t allow you to recover.
In fact, shit-talking them only creates more bitterness and resentment that ends up delaying your healing process.
Do yourself a favor and don’t rant about it.
#4 BEG THEM TO TAKE YOU BACK
Listen, I know it hurts really bad.
But trust me, begging them to take you back wouldn’t make the process any easier.
And even if they do decide to take you back, you would be giving them too much of your power in the relationship.
Which you obviously don’t want.
So develop some self-worth.
You’re way more awesome than you realize.
HOW TO GET OVER A BREAKUP
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let now discuss how to really get over a breakup.
Here are some things you need to start taking action on if you really want to get through this breakup.
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#1 BLOCK THE EX
Society says you can’t heal in the same environment that broke you.
But I beg to differ.
You can heal in the same environment that broke you. However, you cannot heal with the same person that broke you.
Moving to a different city but still remaining in touch with your ex won’t make you heal. People do it all the time and still end up miserable.
Therefore, block your ex and focus on your own sanity.
And try not to stalk their social media pages either.
I know it can be tempting to want to. But the more you practice being distant, the quicker your recovery process.
#2 WRITE DOWN ALL THE NEGATIVE ASPECTS OF THE RELATIONSHIP
Yes, get a pen and paper and write down all the shitty things your ex did to you.
He called you fat? Write that shit down.
Called your mom a loser? Put it all in caps.
Let it be a reminder to you why you don’t deserve to be with such a person.
Because the more your brain accustoms to the negatives of the relationship, the sooner you begin to heal.
No one wants to be in a toxic environment. Let alone a toxic person.
So by all means, do yourself a favor and write it down.
#3 FEEL THE EMOTIONS
Breakups can take an emotional toll on a person.
Hence why it’s important you feel all the emotions you can feel.
Want to cry all day while licking a bowl of vegan chocolate ice cream? Go ahead, sis.
Allow yourself to be angry and frustrated.
I mean, someone just broke your heart.
Of course, it’s going to make you mad.
The worst thing you can do is act like a psychopath and pretend like you don’t give a shit.
That will only make you miserable in the long term.
#4 GET TO KNOW YOURSELF MORE
You can’t love yourself if you don’t know yourself.
And knowing yourself is the key to recovery.
Once you figure out your worth as well as your strengths and weaknesses, you would be well prepared for whatever challenges come your way.
Even if that challenge is a new relationship.
Therefore, use this time to know your values.
What risks can you take now to teach you more about yourself?
You’d want to start taking those risks now.
#5 BE MORE ADVENTUROUS
Learn a new skill. Go sky diving. Try climbing up to Mount Everest.
What is the one thing you’ve always wanted to try but never got a chance to do so?
That’s what you should be doing.
The more you open yourself up to new adventures, the quicker you will start to recover.
Plus, it’s a chance for you to finally unlock your God-given purpose.
Sitting around and doing absolutely nothing wouldn’t get you anywhere.
In fact, it will only make the breakup hurt 10 times more.
Know that at the end of the day, life serves us a bit of pain to prepare us for the destiny we carry.
Don’t let this one breakup ruin your chances of having an amazing future.
Are you going through a breakup? If so, let me know in the comments what you’re currently doing to get through it.