The month of March brings a lot of painful memories to me, simply because it is the same month my dad passed away in 2019.
Grief is definitely something that every one of us at some point will have to pass through.
Whether it’s the loss of a family member or a romantic partner, life will serve us a taste of grief in order to shape us for the destiny we carry.
My experience with grief didn’t start solely from the loss of my father. I honestly believe it started long before he passed away.
Given my past experiences with failed romantic relationships and losses in friendships, the death of my father was only an addition to the series of griefs I had already experienced.
With that being said, the loss of my father definitely taught me a lot of things.
For one, it taught me that I’m way stronger than I ever imagined myself to be… and also, that I’m very capable of using that strength to change the lives of other people.
But, one additional, but also painful thing that my father’s death showed me is that I did, in fact, have daddy issues for the past 23 years of my life.
This wasn’t something that I became aware of until several months after his passing. And the only reason I came to this awareness was because of my quick recovery after his loss.
For most people, the loss of a close family member can be painful and devastating spiraling them into severe cases of depression.
But for me, it was quite the opposite.
Although I did breakdown and weep as most people would after a loss, I did end up feeling almost immune to the grief.
I do credit this high pain to several factors. One of them being my undiscovered daddy issues.
You see, when you don’t have an emotional connection with a person, it can be very hard to grieve their absence.
And for me, I never really developed an emotional connection with my dad, hence why my grieving seemed to move by so quickly.
I grew up in a two-parent household. My mom and dad were amazing parents and always provided the necessary support I needed as a child.
However, my father seemed to be not so great as a parent in the area of emotional love and support.
My mom, being the spiritual mom that she is, was more emotionally involved in my life. While my dad happened to be only physically involved.
Although they both never divorced or separated, I still happened to suffer the same issues that most children from single-parent homes face.
This inconsistency in parenting techniques eventually led me to see the world from a deeply wounded eye.
As a result, I ended up becoming a victim of many toxic and narcissistic relationships.
The sad thing about my story is that even after my dad’s passing, the first thing that came to mind wasn’t how I was never going to feel his love again, but rather, how I didn’t get a chance to show him that I graduated with a Chemical Engineering degree.
You will think that every child who loses a parent focuses on the love aspect, but sadly, I happened to focus so much on the pleasing aspect. Because while growing up, I was conditioned to believe that getting good grades and achieving success will give me the love and support I so desperately desired when in fact, it doesn’t.
So now that he’s no longer present, I was forced to change that mindset, which ended up revealing the daddy issues I never knew I had.
Thankfully, I was able to finally address this issue and seek healing which helped me see the world from a much healthy perspective.
It definitely wasn’t an easy journey for me, but it was one I was willing to embark on in order not to self-sabotage or destroy any new relationships/friendships I eventually will find myself in.
Why am I sharing my story?
I’m choosing to share my story because I believe there are currently many women out there who will read this post with no idea they have daddy issues.
They might have come from two-parent homes subconsciously believing they could never be victims of daddy issues, without realizing they have wounds that are bleeding as a result of it.
Anyone can have daddy issues.
In fact, with the way the world is today, a lot of people are victims of daddy issues and are subconsciously masking these problems unknowingly.
I hope that women can start to work on these issues, because the sooner it is dealt with and healed, the healthier their relationships will be.
Related Post: What to do before you get into a relationship
Are you a victim of Daddy Issues?
If you are, I have great news for you. This issue can be dealt with completely.
If I could heal from it and move on, you surely can as well.
However, you must be willing to put in the work to change your perspective in order to truly recover from it.
Listen to the podcast episode to hear me speak more about this topic.
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